它是本暢銷書, 我對它的期望高, 有92章, 每章都只是三兩版, 但, 我還是看了很久很久, 英文是很生動有趣的, 俚語也多, 所以要查很多字典, 費很多時間.
92個小貼士, 當中, 是可以歸納在一起的. 不過, 作者似乎想以點數取勝.
有趣及實用的例子不少, 說出席應酬要帶一樣特別的東西, 例如飾物, 衣裝, 總之可以引起他人的興趣, 就會有話題.
人家說的經驗, 要好好記住, 到再次見面的時候, 你提出來, 他對你的滿意度會大增.
說話要生動, 不要陳腔濫調, 多讚賞人家...
公司有它的中文版, 不過, 翻譯不及英文生動及有趣. 看起來反而累贅.
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Part One - You only have ten seconds to show you're a somebody
The incredible, inescapable, unique essence of you
1. The flooding smile
Don't flash an immediate smile when you greet someone. Instead, look at the other person's face for a second. Pause. Soak in their persona. Then let a big, warm, responsive smile flood over your face and overflow into your eyes.
2. Sticky Eyes (capturing their hearts and minds)
Don't break eye contact even after he or she has finished speaking. When you must look away, do it ever so slowly, reluctantly, stretching the gooey toffee untie the tiny string finally breaks.
3. Epoxy eyes (Supersticky)
Watch the speaker but let your glance bounce to your target each time the speaker finishes a point.
4. Hang by your teeth 咬緊牙關 (gaining their respect)
Every muscle is stretched into perfect posture position.
Every muscle is stretched into perfect posture position.
Great posture, a heads-up look, a confident smile, and a direct gaze.
5. The big-baby pivot 赤子之心 (make them feel special)
For recognition of how very special he or she is.
6. Hello old friend
The secret to making people like you is showing how much you like them!
7. Limit the fidget 坐立不安
Beware the appearance of lying, even when you're telling the truth.
Even though erroneous (wrong), these fidgety movements give their listeners the sense something just isn't right or a gut feeling they'ar lying.
8. Hans's Horse Sense 料事如神
Express yourself, but keep a keen eye on how your listener is reacting to what you're saying. Then plan your move accordingly.
9. Watch the scene before you make the scene
Hang by your teeth posture, shaking hands, smiling the flooding smile, and making sticky eyes. HEAR yourself chatting comfortably with everyone. FEEL the pleasure of knowing you are in peak form and everyone is gravitating toward you. VISUALIZE yourself a super somebody.
Part Two - What do I say after I say "hello"?
Small talk, you verbal welcome mat
10. The mood match
If you ever want to bring people around to your thoughts, you must match their mood and voice tone, if only for a moment.
11. Prosaic with passion
A positive demeanor, and passionate delivery make you sound.
Other than these downers, anything goes.
12. Always wear a whatzit
Wear or carry something unusual to give people who find you the delightful stranger across that crowded room and an excuse to approach.
13. Whoozat?
Simply ask the party to giver to make the introduction, or pump for a few facts that you can immediately turn into icebreakers.
Wait fir any flimsy excuse and jump in with: excuse me, I couldn't help but overchat
15. Never the naked city
When they say something clever in response to your bait, they think you're a great conversationalist. (interesting replies)
16. Never the naked job
Throw out some delicious facts about your job for new acquaintances to munch on.
17. Never the naked introduction
when introducing people, don't throw out an unbaited hook and stand there grinning like BIG Clam, leaving the newlymets to flutter their fins and fish for a topic.
for clues to his or her preferred topic, have the clue to the subject that's hot for the other person.
19. The swivelling spotlight
When salespeople shine the giant spotlight on the prospect, that's what makes the sales. Keep the spotlight aimed away from you, only lightly on your product, and most brightly on your buyer.
20. Parroting
Never be left speechless again. Simply repeat
21. Encore!
Think of some stories he or she told you, choose an appropriate one form their repertoire that the crowd will enjoy.
22. Ac-cen-tu-ate the pos-i-tive
23. The latest news... don't leave home without it
Part three - How to talk like the big boys 'n' girls
Welcome to the human jungle
85% of one's success in life is directly due to communication skills.
24. What do you do - NOT!
How do you spend most of your time?
25. The nutshell resume
Pack a nutshell about your own life to work into your communications bag of tricks.
26. Your Personal Thesaurus
Don't tell them it was wonderful. Tell them it was a splendid party, a superb party, an extraordinary party. Use your favourite words.
27. Kill the Quick "Me, too!"
Let them discover your Similarity. Don't wait too long to reveal your shared interest.
28. Comm-You-nication
Start every appropriate sentence wit YOU. It immediately grabs your listener's attention. When you sprinkle YOU as liberally as salt and pepper throughout your conversation, you listeners find it an irresistible spice.
29. The exclusive smile
If you flash everybody the same smile, it loses value.
30. Don't touch a cliche with a ten-foot pole
31. Use Jawsmith's Jive
Read speakers' books to cull quotations, pull pearls of wisdom, and get gems to tickle their funny bones.
32. Call a spade a spade
Don't hide behind euphemisms.
33. Trash the teasing
Never, ever, make a joke at anyone else's expense. You will wind up paying for it, dearly.
34. It's the receiver's ball
Keep your ball receiver in mind. Then deliver it with a smile, a sigh, or a sob.
35. The broken record
When someone persists in questioning you on an unwelcome subject, simply repeat your original response.
36. Big shots don't slobber 流口水
People who are VIPs in their own right don't slobber over celebrities.
When you are chatting with one, don't compliment her work, simply say how much pleasure or insight it's given you.
37. Never the naked thank you
Par Four - How to be an insider in any crowd
What are they all talking about?
Gobledygook 官樣文章
To throw out a right questions to get people to open up.
Dale Carnegie "Show sincere interest and people will talk"
38. Scramble therapy
Do something you'd never dream of doing.
39. Learn a little gobbledygook (language of other profession)
It makes you sound like an insider.
40. Baring their hot button
Find our what the hot issues are in their field. Every industry has burning concerns the outside world knows little about. To heat the conversation up, push those button.
41. Read their rags
You can dish up more information than you'll ever need to sound like an insider with anyone just by reading the rags that serve their racket.
42. Clear "customs"
Before putting one toe on foreign soil, get a book on dos and taboos around the world.
43. Bluffing for bargains
Armed with a few words of industryese, you're ready to head for the store where you're going to buy.
Part Five - Why, We're just Alike!
We are like peas in a pod
44. Be a copycat
Watch their every move, then imitate their style.
45. Echoing
Listen to the speaker's arbitrary choice of nouns, verbs, prepositions - and echo them back. Hearing their words come out of your mouth creates subliminal rapport. It makes them feel you share their values, their attitudes, their interests, their experiences.
46. Potent imaging
Evoke your listener's interests or lifestyle and weave images around it.
47. Employ empathizers
Your empathy impresses our listeners and encourages them to continue.
48. Anatomically correct empathizers 結構上
For visual people, use visual empathizers to make them think you see the world the way they do. For auditory folks, use auditory empathizers to make them think you hear them loud and clear. For kinesthetic types, use kinesthetic empathizers to make them think you feel the same way they do.
"You really have a clear picture of that situation"
"That's a delicious idea"
"I can understand how you feel"
49. The premature we
Create the sensation of intimacy with someone even if you've met just moments before. Elicit intimate feelings by using the magic words we, us, and our.
50. Instant history
Search for some special moment you shared during your first encounter.
Part Six - The power of praise, the folly of flattery
Praise reapprasied
51. Grapevine glory
A compliment one hears is never as exciting as the one he overhears.
52. Carrier pigeon kudos (名聲)
Become a carrier of good news and kudos. When you hear something complimentary about someone, fly to them with the compliment.
53. Implied magnificence
Throw a few comments into your conversation that presuppose something positive about the person you're talking with.
54. Accidential adulation
Stealthily speak praise into the parenthetical part of our sentence.
55. The killer compliment
Whenever you are talking with a stranger you'd like to make part of your professional or personal future, search for one attractive, specific, and unique quality he or she has.
56. Little strokes
Let others know how much you appreciate them by caressing them with verbal Little Strokes like "Nice job!" "Well done."
57. The knee-jerk "wow!"
You must praise people the moment they a finish a feat. In a wink, like a knee-jerk reaction say, "You were terrific!".
58. Boomeranging
Let compliments boomerang right back to the give, "That's very kind of you."
59. The tombstone game
Ask the important people in your life what they would like engraved on their tombstone. Chisel it into your memory but don't mention it again. Then, when the moment is right to say "I appreciate you".
Part Seven - Direct dial their hearts
How to be a hit in another show
60. Talking gestures
You must turn your smiles into sound, your nods into noise... when you pick up the phone.
61. Name shower
People perk up when they hear their own name.
62. "Oh wow, it's you."
After you hear who is calling (phone call), let a huge smile of happiness engulf your entire face and spill over into your voice.
63. The sneaky screen
Screen tel calls
64. Salute the spouse
Make friends with the secretary, anybody who is close enough to answer the phone is close enough to sway the VIP's opinion of you. Salute the spouse, salute the secretary.
65. What colour is your time?
Is this a convenient time for you to talk?
66. Constantly changing outgoing message
Leave a short, professional, and friendly greeting as your outgoing message (greeting). And, change it every day.
67. Your ten-second audition
While dialing, clear your throat, to prove you are worthy of a quick callback.
68. The ho-hum caper
Uh, may I speak to Ms Bigshot pls? Tossing the familiar she off your tongue signals to the secretary that you and her boss are old buddies.
69. "I hear your other line."
When you hear a phone in the background, ask whether she has to attend to it.
70. Instant replay
Record all your business conversations and listen to them again. The second or third time, you pick up on significant subtleties you missed the first time.
Part Eight - How to work a party like a politician works a room
The politician's six-point party checklist
71. Munching or mingling
Never hold food or drink at a party.
72. Rubberneck the room
When you arrive at the gathering, stop dramatically in the doorway. Then slowly survey the situation. Let your eyes travel back and forth like a SWAT team ready in a heartbeat to wipe out anything that moves.
73. Be the chooser, not the choosee
Do not stand around waiting for the moment when that special person approaches you. You make it happen by exploring every face in the room.
74. Come-Hither hands
Arrange your body in an open position - esp your arms and hands.
75. Tracking
When you evoke the last major or minor event in anyone's life, it confirms the deep conviction that he or she is an old-style hero around whom the world revolves.
76. The business card dossier
On the back of his or her business card write notes to remind you of the conversation: his favourite restaurant, sport...
77. Eyeball selling
Set the hidden camera behind your eyeballs to pick up on all your customers' friends' signals, then plan your pitch and your pace accordingly.
Part Nine - Little tricks of big winners
The most treacherous Glass Ceiling of all
78. See no bloopers, hear no bloopers
Don't notice their comrades' minor spills, slips, fumbles, and faux pas. Big Winners never gape at another's gaffes.
79. Lend a helping tongue
Say to the person who suffered story-interruptus, "Now pls get back to your story".
80. Bare the buried WIIFM
When you suggest a meeting or ask a favour, divulge the respective benefits.
81. Let 'em savour the favour
Whenever a friend agrees to a favour, allow your generous buddy time to relish the joy of his or her beneficence before you make them pay the piper. At least 24 hours.
82. Tit for (wait...wait) tat
When people do you favours and it's obvious 'they owe you one', wait a suitable amount of time before asking them to 'pay. Let them enjoy the fact that you did it our of friendship.
83. Parties are for pratter
Parties are for pleasantries and good fellowship, not for confrontations. Big players, even when standing next to their enemies at the buffet table, smile and nod.
84. Dinner's for dining
No tough business be discussed.
85. Chance encounters are for Chitchat
Keep the melody of your mistaken meeting sweet and light.
86. Empty their tanks
If you need information, let people have their entire say first.
87. Echo the EMO
Whenever you need facts from people about an emotional situation, let them emote.
88. My goof (Silly mistake), your gain
When you make a mistake, make sure your victim benefits. It's not enough to correct your error. What could I do for this suffering soul so he or she will be delighted I made the flub.
89. Leave an escape hatch
Whenever you catch someone lying, filching, exaggerating, distorting, or deceiving, don't confront the dirty duck directly.
90. Buttercups for their boss
Send compliment to the good guy's boss.
91. Lead the listeners
Be the first to applaud or publicly commend the man or woman you agree with (or want favours from).
92. The great scorecard in the sky
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