How to Deal with Stress

很多小問卷, 我覺得最有用是下面的內容.  很多的煩惱是自己看不開.


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Stress occurs when pressure exceeds your perceived ability to cope.

Changing your thinking

Thinking Errors

1.     All or nothing thinking

We view things in absolute, extreme terms without any shades of grey. E.g. If a job is worth doing, it is worth doing well.

2.     Labelling

We “globally rate” ourselves, others or the universe, as opposed to rating skills deficits or specific behaviours.

3.     Focusing on the negatives

4.     Discounting the positive

We choose to reframe anything positive as unimportant. E.g. When my manager gives me positive feedback she is only saying it to be nice. She doesn’t really mean it.

5.     Mind reading

We infer from people’s behavior that they are either thinking or reaching negatively toward us. E.g. I am sure my colleagues think that I can’t undertake this project successfully.  

6.     Fortune telling

We predict the worst-cast scenario, often by using insufficient evidence. 

7.     Magnification or awfulising

If we don’t reach that deadline, the outcome will be awful. 

8.     Minimization

We condemn ourselves for our shortcomings and make excuses for our successes or strengths. Eg. The exams I passed were easy ones. 

9.     Emotional reasoning

We evaluate situations by how we feel. E.g. I feel so anxious about flying, it must be dangerous to fly. 

10.  Blame

Instead of taking any personal responsibility, we blame others for problems that have occurred. 

11.  Overgeneralisation

We predict repeated outcomes on the basis of only one event. E..g I’ve got off to a bad start today. That means the rest of the day will be a write=off tool. 

12.  Personalization

We blame ourselves unfairly for something for which we are not totally responsible. E.g. My staff did not reach the target. It’s all my fault.  

13.  Demanding-ness

We hold unrealistic expectations or rigid and absolutist beliefs.  

14.  Phoney-ism

We fear others my find out that we are not the person we portray. E.g. When my children grow up they will realise what a hopeless parent I was.  

15 I-can’t-stand-it-itis

I can’t bear small rooms or noisy children.