如果是其他書本介紹的書, 通常都是不錯. 這一本不記得是哪一本書介紹, 但, 一打開就差不多手不釋卷. 是我看哲理類的書很少見的.
作者是醫生, 曾參與越戰, 眼見過殺人與死亡. 後來當心理醫生, 他在13個月內, 一個兒子因精神病自殺死了, 一個因為血癌而死. 原來, 他長大後才發覺自己原來是領養, 千辛萬苦去找生娘. 單看他的閱歷, 就知道他的體會, 比普通人多. 但, 書內, 他很謙卑, 沒有說自己如何刻苦, 如何排除萬難, 更沒有說教的口吻. 反而在序說要獻給:
To my patients who taught me most of what is in this book.
喜歡此書的原因是, 作者經歷喪子之痛, 沒有因此而變得religious. 現實中, 很多人在失意及病重時, 都會去信教, 希望願望實現, 我覺得很功利, 也是變相檯底交易.
I usually ask if it is possible to intentionally hurt someone we love. Would we do such a thing to ourselves? Can we love the truck that runs us over?
這一句就隱隱看出他不會是教徒吧.
Whenever I talk with couples in a conflict, it is striking how similar are their desires: to be respected, to be listened to, to feel that they are the centre of their partner's life. What else could we possibly want in a relationship? It is what people mean when they speak of love?
發人深省.
We are responsible for most of what happens to us.
While it takes two people to create a relationship, it takes only one to end it.
Keeping our expectation low protects us from disappointment.
這就是我們說的: 沒有期望, 沒有失望.
Most old people are preoccupied with self-centered complaints.
Most old people are preoccupied with self-centered complaints.
老人家的確很喜歡投訴.
It is that every life contains losses. How we respond to them is what defines us.
每一章的標題都有意思.
Chap 1 - if the map doesn't agree with the terrain, the map is wrong
Chap 2 - "We are what we do"
Chap 3 - "It's difficult to remove by logic an idea not placed there by logic in the first place" -
Chap 4 - "a figurative statute of limitations on our childhood traumas"
Chap - 5 "Any relationship (r/shp) is controlled by the one who loves least"
Chap 6 - that "feelings follow behavior"
Chap 7 - "Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid"
Chap 8 - "The perfect is the enemy of the good"
Chap 9 - "Knowing when to ask `why' and conversely `why not"
Chap 10 - "Our greatest strengths are our greatest weaknesses"
Chap 11 - "The most secure prisons are the ones we construct for ourselves"
Chap 12 - "The problems of the elderly are serious, but uninteresting"
Chap 13 - "Happiness is the ultimate risk"
Chap 14 - "Love is the apple of Eden"
Chap 15 - "Only bad things happen quickly"
Chap 16 - "Not all who wander are lost"
Chap 17 - "Unrequitted love is painful, but not romantic"
Chap 18 - "Doing the same things and expecting different results
Chap 19 - "We flee from truth in vain"
Chap 20 - "Don't lie to yourself - He discusses denial, and hypocrisy vs authenticity;
Chap 21 - "The myth of the perfect stranger"
Chap 22 - "Love is never lost, not even in death"
Chap 23 - "Nobody likes to be told what to do"
Chap 24 - "Illness can provide relief from responsibility"
Chap 25 - "We're afraid of the wrong things"
Chap 26 - "Parents have a limited ability to shape their children's behavior, except for the worse"
Chap 27 - "Our only paradises are ones we've lost"
Chap 28 - "As to courage, the ability to laugh is the most therapeutic"
Chap 29 - "Mental health requires freedom of choice"
Chap 30 - "Forgiveness is a form of letting go, but it's not the same"
這是一本好書.
Chap 2 - "We are what we do"
Chap 3 - "It's difficult to remove by logic an idea not placed there by logic in the first place" -
Chap 4 - "a figurative statute of limitations on our childhood traumas"
Chap - 5 "Any relationship (r/shp) is controlled by the one who loves least"
Chap 6 - that "feelings follow behavior"
Chap 7 - "Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid"
Chap 8 - "The perfect is the enemy of the good"
Chap 9 - "Knowing when to ask `why' and conversely `why not"
Chap 10 - "Our greatest strengths are our greatest weaknesses"
Chap 11 - "The most secure prisons are the ones we construct for ourselves"
Chap 12 - "The problems of the elderly are serious, but uninteresting"
Chap 13 - "Happiness is the ultimate risk"
Chap 14 - "Love is the apple of Eden"
Chap 15 - "Only bad things happen quickly"
Chap 16 - "Not all who wander are lost"
Chap 17 - "Unrequitted love is painful, but not romantic"
Chap 18 - "Doing the same things and expecting different results
Chap 19 - "We flee from truth in vain"
Chap 20 - "Don't lie to yourself - He discusses denial, and hypocrisy vs authenticity;
Chap 21 - "The myth of the perfect stranger"
Chap 22 - "Love is never lost, not even in death"
Chap 23 - "Nobody likes to be told what to do"
Chap 24 - "Illness can provide relief from responsibility"
Chap 25 - "We're afraid of the wrong things"
Chap 26 - "Parents have a limited ability to shape their children's behavior, except for the worse"
Chap 27 - "Our only paradises are ones we've lost"
Chap 28 - "As to courage, the ability to laugh is the most therapeutic"
Chap 29 - "Mental health requires freedom of choice"
Chap 30 - "Forgiveness is a form of letting go, but it's not the same"
這是一本好書.
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